Sunday, December 14, 2014

Current Status

December 14, 2014

So currently I am a college student, hoping to graduate in three months. I've been single for about 9 months and I have to say, not once have I wished that I had a boyfriend. (Except those nights where I'm really hungry and wish I could have someone bring me food. But anybody will do really. Or those nights when it's cold or I just watched something scary and need a body to comfort me. But that could be anybody I'm comfortable around.)
I think the only time in my life where I was seriously wanting a relationship was when I was in my first one (2012-2013.) It was my first relationship and I didn't want anything bad to happen to it. I mean, I hadn't had one until I turned 20. That's so many years of being forever alone!! I don't know if it was love or anything, we did say it to each other and it felt like it. But looking back I think it was just having someone to talk to every day and someone who actually went out of their way to see you whenever you wanted.
Another big thing is that at the time my best friend wasn't responding to my messages. She gets in these stages where everything overwhelms her so much that she doesn't contact anyone back. I know she still has her cousins, her parents, and her sister, but I feel like I need her to. Right now she's currently like that. She's probably texted me back twice in the last month. Which really depresses me. I actually had to text her boyfriend to ask how she is. Thankfully she made me get his number haha.
Back to the current topic: no boyfriend needed. I see online (I'm online a lot) that young people are always commenting stuff like "I'm 12 and I don't have a boyfriend yet!" or something else along those lines. I always feel compelled to say "I didn't get a relationship until I was almost 21 and I'm perfectly fine with it. Don't rush, it'll come when it's meant to." I feel like young people are trying to grow up too fast. Now that I'm 22 (I think I'm 22...right?) I just want to go back a few years and enjoy being a child some more. Maybe go back to elementary school and make some more friends. Or back to middle school and stop being such a b*ch to other people. Or maybe back to high school and stop being such a brat. And definitely back to now and tell myself to get off the internet to get some friends.
I have basically retreated back into myself at the moment. All I do is spend time on the internet whether it's thinking up video ideas and shooting them or it's writing blog posts, or even watching youtube videos. I barely reply to anyone, not that I get messages, and I barely reach out to people. My to-do list this winter break consists of making videos, watching tv shows movies and youtube videos I haven't watched yet, and going to Disneyland. That last one counts as human interactions right?
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. I am currently single. I am happy and content with it. Mostly because I am at that age where I'm like, I don't really want to just "date," I want to find someone that I can settle down with. That current mindset is because of the timeline.
What is the timeline you say? First, you have to date for a few years to find out that you are compatible. And then you have to get engaged for at least a year to plan the wedding and live together to see if the other person is bearable. After you get married, you have to wait at least a year before trying to conceive because being married is a completely new thing and bringing a baby into it is just too much too fast. And then comes the baby. So that' least 3-4 years before the baby thing. And I'll be 26? Ahhhh so I basically have to meet someone now who will be lasting! That's why I'm not looking for someone to just date.
That sure took a turn didn't it? Well....I hope I got my point across.
My point was....don't rush into a relationship and be happy with yourself. Your time will come.
That's what I wanted to say right? Sure. Right!

Have a great winter break everyone! :)

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