I am Happy.

     I feel happy. Words that I have not uttered for what feels like years. I realized it about two weeks ago when I couldn't fall asleep in the middle of the night and figured out that I actually felt happiness. It's crazy to think about because just a month and half ago (on my birthday), I was crying myself to sleep the night before and woke up even more depressed. I didn't even respond to any of my family's birthday messages and I spent an hour crying and telling my mom everything that was happening at the moment.

     So what is this miraculous thing in my life that has made me happy? Pokemon GO. I know, I know, a lot of people are asking "do people still play that?" The answer is "yes, we do." I co-founded this group of people in my city who go out and play every day and we travel in a pack to take down raids (basically boss battles). There are 15 people in the group currently and we usually travel in groups of 5-8 on a daily basis. We talk about Pokemon all the time and since we've spent so much time together, we've gotten to know each other and hang out outside of Pokemon.

   It's sad but I had forgotten what it felt like to have friends. It's been years since I lost someone and I think that's the last time I was ever truly happy. But the fact that I can wake up for weeks on end and be happy, means that something is working for me. I hope this means that I am getting better in my head and I will be able to work on my life and figure things out.