Sunday, December 31, 2017

Good Bye 2017


Another year over another reflection.

2017. The first time I was able to admit I felt absolute happiness since we lost her all those years ago. But at the same time, my depression came back worse than it has in a long while. There were so many ups and downs this year it was more thrilling than a roller coaster.


I spent more time outdoors than any other year I've had and finally found a group of friends I could talk to and hang out with. Something I haven't had since before losing her.

I also went on an 80 day trip which made me realize that I will never go anywhere I don't want to go again because I actually have a choice. There were so many foods that I now appreciate more because not everywhere has good ones accessible.

I certainly did not consume as much media as I did last year. I definitely need to read more books and watch more movies next year.
So here it is

2018: Do more things I want to do. Be happy.
...get help.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

A Harrowing Journey



   So here's the thing. I've been in Shanghai for two months. I left the states the second week of September and got back on the 29th of November. My first impression as I got off the plane - even though I have been to China twice before - why is everyone yelling? Truth: that's just how they talk. My eight and a half weeks have taught me to get used to: constantly yelling, people walking around looking at their phones, smokers not giving a crap if they are standing in a crowd or even next to their own baby, smog (the horrible smog), people riding their bikes and driving their scooters on the sidewalk attempting to run you over to get to their destination, the road having three lanes that suddenly split into four and then become two, the left turn lane being on the right most side, the constant use of horns and sirens by civilians and police respectively, and of course the fact that there are so many people in this country that they have no respect for lines nor personal space. They will literally stand next to you at the counter because they are waiting for you to finish your purchase so that they can be next. What do you mean there were three people waiting? And if you are standing in line and cut you, they will graciously let you go first. As if they are doing you a favor. Trying to get on an escalator or on the subway is a constant war zone. It may seem like they are forming a line, but that's just the formation they take while trying to fill every available space. They don't see the logic of letting people out of the car first so there is space for them.

Conclusion? I am never leaving the states for this long again unless it is somewhere with good (and not firewalled) internet. And I am never coming to China for this much time - at least not by choice. The thing I looked forward to the most about being back in California are the clean air, polite people, and my friends. It's been a lovely almost 3 months being out there without peers to hang out with. Transatlantic communication just isn't the same when your time zones are literally day and night and they can go out and have fun with each other while you just get to hear about it afterward.

 Tip for anyone going to China (although your experience may be different from mine depending on where you go): Bring sanitizer and lots of tissues! I will definitely not miss squatting to pee or not having soap after.

 The few things I will mist for sure is paying a buck for street food, all the cheap clothing I can get for under $10 each, and being able to go everywhere without needing to hop in a car. Public transportation is amazing out there


Side note: I've been back in America for almost a month now and I wrote this a few weeks before I left China. I did get to be in Taiwan for a week and I was lucky enough to have a high school friend who was there at the same time. I love Taiwan because that's where I grew up. It's awesome getting to walk outside and having so much food and shop available. I went everywhere on foot or on the subway and it was a fantastic week where my mom barely saw me because I left in the morning and came back when the last subway closed.

(Yes, I am grateful that I have the opportunity and means to travel and pick up whenever I please but everyone is allowed to complain once in a while)